DAMN IF THOSE CHURCH LADIES DIDN’T DO IT AGAIN.
SON OF A B—-! Just what in the name of Mary Magdalene does a girl gotta do to win at the Unofficial St. Joseph Altar Death-Match Bake-Off?!
“I cannot believe you just used the word ‘G.D.’ in a church fellowship hall,” The Guy lamented.
Well, he’s not the one who waited five years for his big comeback, only to be bested by a Bible-shaped cake with a portrait of St. Joseph airbrushed onto it.
That’s just dirty pool, am I right?!
This will not stand, people. Mark my words. I am gonna blow everybody else outta the water next year or die trying. Ideas submitted so far include:
–A red velvet cake in the form of the parted Red Sea adorned with plastic Moses figurine (Intern Rachel)
–A Noah’s-Ark-shaped cake with a veritable menagerie of marzipan animals (Holt)
–A cake resembling the burning bush with pulled-sugar flames leaping upward (Andrew)
–You really don’t want to know what Katie and I came up with. “I’m not a Christian,” Andrew said, “And I find that offensive.” Let’s just say it involved a lot of red jelly and leave it at that. What can I say? The spirit of competition got away with us.
“You are so Bree Van de Kamp right now,” Holt said.
All I know is, I think I’m gonna need a set of those biblical Legos.
On the whole, though, despite my initially very un-Christian attitude toward my fellow bakers, The Guy enjoyed his first St. Joseph Altar experience. The braided bread shaped like the crown of thorns (complete with toothpicks representing the thorns) creeped him out a little bit, but other than that, a good time was had by all.
Oh, it is SO ON next year.
1. Are you a sunrise or sunset type of gal? Or neither? – Cristy
I want so, so badly to be a morning person, but I’m just not. The schedule my body seems to like best is going to bed at midnight or 1:00 a.m. and waking up around 8:00 or 9:00. Apparently, I’ve always been a night owl; my parents said that even as an infant, if left to my own devices, I would go to sleep at 11:00 and wake up at 7:00.
So sunset, definitely.
2. Name your top three websites and why. - Jennifer
WOW. This one is MUCH harder than I expected it to be. My three favorite websites change almost as often as my three favorite books, but I’ll give it a shot.
1. Personal blogs. This is a total cop-out, I know, to lump them all together like this, but I love personal blogs for so many reasons. They’re entertaining; I’ve met some of my best friends through blogs; other people’s views on the world give me a totally different perspective; and I learn about a lot of issues that I would otherwise kind of gloss over in the news.
2. Lifehacker. Though some of their items are so far over my head they might as well be speaking Farsi, I’ve learned COUNTLESS cool new things from this site.
3. Fashion Under $100. This girl, Dana, started a site wherein she recreates celebrity and designer outfits piece-by-piece, and no outfit costs more than $100. Lately, she’s started showcasing looks for different occasions (think bridal shower or class reunion). She also includes lots of plus-sized options, which I think is really cool.